Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Badman Commandments

If you've ever listened to any thugged-out dancehall tunes, you've probably heard someone mention what it takes to be a real Badman. "Badman" is a Jamaican word for "gangster" or "thug". On the blog of Heatwave, the awesome carribean/funky house soundsystem from the UK, I found a treasury of instructions on how to be a Badman, taken from dancehall lyrics. It's called the Badman Commandments, here are my favorites:

"Badman nuh run nursery"
Delly Ranks - Have You Ever
(Tek Ova Riddim)

"Badman nah bathe with them baby mumma rag"
Elephant Man - Bad Man
(Fiesta Riddim)

"Badman nuh go a candy shop"
G Maffiah - Deh Pon Di Block
(Creepa Riddim)

"Real badman we nuh play table tennis"
Elephant Man - Dem Nah Like We

"Real badman don't buss dem likkle small guns anymore - I got big bumbaclaat rifle that you never seen before"
Elephant Man & Ward 21 - Real Badman

"Badman nuh wear pink"
Bounty Killer - As A Man

"Badman nuh ramp with punaany"
Beenie Man - Real Badman
(Young Blood - Range Rover riddim)

"Badman we nuh rape nobody"
Kiprich - I Hate Rapists
(Mista Wilks - Ice Cube riddim)

"Badman nuh go watch Brokeback Mountain"
Elephant Man - Nuh Bruck Back Mountain
Jam II - Sidewalk University riddim)

"Badman nuh like Tom Sawyer"
Wayne Wonder - Tom Sawyer
(Fire Links - Airwave riddim)

"Badman nuh bleach or shave them eyebrow."
(Munga - "Na Hear")

"Badman nuh inna the Boyz II Men ting."
(Cojo Banton - "Check Yu Self Out")

"Badman nuh Cub Scout"
Bounty Killer & Ninjaman - Boy Nuh Run

and the winner is:

"Badman don't drink Snapple"
Mr Easy - Feel Alright
(Black Shadow - Chat riddim)


  1. I cannot live my life under the yoke of these dogmas.
    But I do enjoy your Blog... I do believe I'll be back on the Cape this Summer, Gui said you were looking for a place with Lee... no chance your looking for a place for 3?

  2. I know- "Badman nuh wear pink"... that sooo rules me out, too!
    Yeah dude, I'd like to find a house for three, maybe in Wellfleet. It's tentative name would be "The Brozone Layer", but we're, like, open to suggestions.