Andrew, Charlie from Alaska and I went to Acapolco for a few days to stay at Andrew's girlfriend Tanya's family's condo. Early on we decided that while we were there we would pose as a lewd pop-punk band from Chula Vista called FATAL BONER. We even thought up song titles- "Wank on a Waverunner", "Handjob on a Hanglider", "Premature on a Parasail".
This was the view from our balcony:
We kept pretending it was Spring Break, but really our condo was filled with old Quebecois and Mafioso on vacation. We were the only young people around and we were sore thumbs. Here's us at the pool:
Charlie's plan for how to lure ladies back to our room is to tell them the truth: that we have the first season of the Original Star Trek on DVD! It was a fool-proof plan.
If you want to know what Fatal Boner's favorite food, is the answer is easy: Cheetos! (which are pronounced "Chitos" in Mexico, since "Chido" already means "cool")
This was so tasteless that even Fatal Boner couldn't even get down with it: this was at a scumbag bar on the strip with a Cuban theme called Mojhito. It says "Closed Today: Went to Cut Sugar Cane". Puke!
It wasn't all Pina Coladas, though. Sometimes the Bro Zone could get a little gully late at night. At one point my laptop screen got smashed by a flying beer bottle. Then there was the time Andrew got robbed by a Tranny. Sometimes the Boner really can be Fatal.
The busses in Acapolco are all swagged out, tryint to outdo each other with their sound systems, paint jobs and titles. We rode with Batman, who had a banging system and a Reggaeton-heavy music policy.
All the Hotels say "Reccomended by Fodors" or "Lonely Planet", whether it's true or not. These guys couldn't even crib off of their neighbors correctly.
All the Hotels say "Reccomended by Fodors" or "Lonely Planet", whether it's true or not. These guys couldn't even crib off of their neighbors correctly.
Look out for the new Fatal Boner e.p. "Assapolco" on Fat wreck chords.
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