White Animal vrs. the Little Dudes in the streets of San Cris!

I was minding my own business, eating Posole on the street in San Cris, when I was attacked by these little indigenous kids who shine shoes on the street there. They demanded money and such, but all I could offer was to buy them some food and cokes.
They ate and jabbered in an ominous Indigenous dialect. I feared for my life. One of them took my sunglasses:

I wanted a photographic record of the assault. At first they were shy..


But then became more bold.
















They grabbed my camera and started taking their own photos. In an unexpected turn of events, the gang members turned on each other and started Karate fighting in the street!
These photos were taken by a third hoodlum.

Their hands were so dirty that I had to keep wiping the screen of the iphone off so they could take more photos.


Even shrubs weren't spared: they got humped!

A concerned third party stepped in to document the violence:










This close-up on my shoe is acctually my favorite photo they took. I mean, they are shoe-shines. This is what they look at all day. It doesn't much more "outsider art" than that.

Where the Wild Things are trailer

Now that the Hollerboard is back, I'm just reposting links. Here's the trailer for Where the Wild Things Are.

I recommend watching it in HD on the apple site.


Although, I guess you would only be interested in this if... you have a heart.

Major Lazer!

Some new Major Lazer material was presented at SBSW over weekend-- Diplo and Switch doing techno dancehall- this record is gonna be HEAVY. Ragga vocals over Sis "Trompeta", which is just a minimal house re-edit of "Bulgarian Chicks" by Balkan Beat Box sounds sick! Just think, in two days I'll be DJing with the guys who played those horns!

San Cristobal once again

San Cristobal was not quite the same the second time around without Moya, but it was alright.

Here's positive proof that the 80s are dead and the 90s are back-- even in Chiapas, graffiti artists have quit fetishising 80s ghetto blasters and are on to panasonic stereos from Kmart circa 96.
Back in San Cris, you can get a breakfast like this at La Casa del Pan- homemade croissant, local organic eggs, rajas (cactus), queso gouda and fried seso mushrooms on top.
My eyes were so depressed by the two-dreadlock, pseudo-crusty hippy style in San Cristobal that this eccentric gentleman was literally like a ray of sunshine. How did he find socks to match the rest of the outfit?! A style pioneer.
When official language goes retarded: the men's room at Zirko on a long night of clubbing.

Puerto

Team "Vans"

Back in the surf ghetto of Puerto, these type of sights are common.

As far as I can tell, the Erotika sex shop didn't take off, so they opened up the school supply store in its place without taking down the mural of the little girl in bondage.
"Little Black Boy" carwash.
Checkout the graff piece in the back with Little Sambo. The kid working had a high-top fade, too, completing the black-cultural theme.
Super Che is the biggest supermarket chain in Southern Mexico. When I saw this, I was like "Cool, Imma just run up with an AK-47 and liberate all the food I want- Hasta la Velveeta Siempre, mothafuckkaaa!"

Despite the cultural freakshow you will find there (don't get me started about aging Californians with money and their ability to recreate the beach towns of their surfing youth to deal with their raging Pater Pan complexes), they do put on a banging sunset.

And the waves there are literally terrifying. This photo doesn't do justice.

This fellow

Oh, did I mention that down on the coast I ran into this fellow?

His keeper can tickle his belly sometimes, but it makes him have to grip his snout with both paws...

...to keep from biting his face off with excitement!

The Badman Commandments

If you've ever listened to any thugged-out dancehall tunes, you've probably heard someone mention what it takes to be a real Badman. "Badman" is a Jamaican word for "gangster" or "thug". On the blog of Heatwave, the awesome carribean/funky house soundsystem from the UK, I found a treasury of instructions on how to be a Badman, taken from dancehall lyrics. It's called the Badman Commandments, here are my favorites:

"Badman nuh run nursery"
Delly Ranks - Have You Ever
(Tek Ova Riddim)

"Badman nah bathe with them baby mumma rag"
Elephant Man - Bad Man
(Fiesta Riddim)

"Badman nuh go a candy shop"
G Maffiah - Deh Pon Di Block
(Creepa Riddim)

"Real badman we nuh play table tennis"
Elephant Man - Dem Nah Like We

"Real badman don't buss dem likkle small guns anymore - I got big bumbaclaat rifle that you never seen before"
Elephant Man & Ward 21 - Real Badman

"Badman nuh wear pink"
Bounty Killer - As A Man

"Badman nuh ramp with punaany"
Beenie Man - Real Badman
(Young Blood - Range Rover riddim)

"Badman we nuh rape nobody"
Kiprich - I Hate Rapists
(Mista Wilks - Ice Cube riddim)

"Badman nuh go watch Brokeback Mountain"
Elephant Man - Nuh Bruck Back Mountain
Jam II - Sidewalk University riddim)

"Badman nuh like Tom Sawyer"
Wayne Wonder - Tom Sawyer
(Fire Links - Airwave riddim)

"Badman nuh bleach or shave them eyebrow."
(Munga - "Na Hear")

"Badman nuh inna the Boyz II Men ting."
(Cojo Banton - "Check Yu Self Out")

"Badman nuh Cub Scout"
Bounty Killer & Ninjaman - Boy Nuh Run
(Jammy's)

and the winner is:

"Badman don't drink Snapple"
Mr Easy - Feel Alright
(Black Shadow - Chat riddim)

I'm Not Alone

What do you think of this new Calvin Harris single? I'll admit that the first verse is pretty hard to take. "I'm playing Golf and looking too old" has to be one of the worst lyrics ever, and this is one instance where auto-tune would be a welcome accompaniment to Calvin's off-key singing. But starting from where he says "God, I can't do this anymore" it starts to tug at your heartstrings. Then, out of nowhere, these huge, dumb, Eurovision-style trance synths kick in and the shit goes all rave on you. By the time the acid-house stabs start up, it sounds exactly like some double-stacked Mitsubishis kicking in. While one part of you wants to put on a track suit and twirl glowsticks, the other part of you is struck by the melancholy lyric

"If I see a light flashing, does this mean that I'm coming home?
If I see a man waving, does this mean that I'm not alone?"

In short, it sounds like mindless, exessive partying in spite of knowing better, which is something that I'm sure we can all relate to. Being sad at the rave is so 2009.

I have no idea WTF is going on in this video, but I'm feeling his evil-mad-scientist-with-sexy-girls steeze here



The Deadmau5 remix ain't too shabby either..

Dead and Gone

I was just wondering, do you think when Justin says "The old me's dead and gone" on this T.I. joint, is he saying that he's putting a nail in the coffin of "Mickey Mouse Club" Justin? Thats cold.
But then later in the song he sings "I turn my head to the North, swallow the pill that they call 'pride'"-- does this mean he's thinking of going to Canada and joing the cast of "You Can't do That on Televison?"... someone should tell him that show has hasn't been on the air for years.

LIVE Justin Timberlake T.i. - Dead and Gone - Grammy 2009
Cargado por NeKsoN

Chacahua again

After two days of surfing on Chacahua with pretty much no warming up and sleeping on these ulra-hard, too-big pillows in my Cabana, I ended up with a neck so stiff that I literally could not move ifrom this position for two days.

I was layed up like this staring at the ceiling for far too long.
When I got better I went with my friend Erica, who is a real Michoacana, to go see the lighthouse on the other side of the lagoon. (No, interested parties, we not the smooching kind of friends)
Here's the Lagoon from above
And the beach proper, with uncharacteristically mellow waves. The main break is out by he rock jetty, and it's usually pretty gnarly.

Here me, just chilling with an aguilla..
These were the evangelical motherfuckers that kept us up for night on end with their huge loudspeakers over which the preachers would literally scream about Jesus. It sounded like death metal without music, horrible. Did you know that Evangelism was invented in America quite recently and is now spreading in Mexico like a plague? Apparently it's becoming a major threat to the Catholic church and people who like peace and quiet.
This was the best full moon evar!



We made a big fire to celebrate
The dudes



Frederick from Sweden being stoic
Or stoned-ic
These guys would catch some crazy fishes that they'd cook for us in the restaurant
Keith from Texas eating these little fishes called "Cocinero" which were some of the tastiest fish I've had.
Regalito is the prettiest dog, and his name means "little gift", awwww..
Dudebroness.. kind of creepy?El Piojo is like is the mayor of Chacahua
Here he is as a representative of "Laguna" people on a cultural poster.
My friend Gal said that he looked like Samuel L. Jackson, but that prolly because she's from Isreal and doesn't see many black people. People in Chacahua in general look more black than most Mexican people, supposedly from runaway slaves.
While Piojo is drinking Mescal and smoking joints all day, his wife is running the shop.

The best beach. If you want to go there, don't ask me cause I wont tell you where it is.